Returning to Myself Among Others: How I Arrived at AMC
By Anne Hilb, Member
There's a fundamental truth that all outdoorspeople know: The world is big and the world is small.
I believe this is why we take to the woods, seek the next summit, and worship the stars.
It’s the fundamental truths that we take for granted, because of their sweet simplicity.
I know I do.
The world is big.
When I look out over a vista, I see more than I can imagine. I am engulfed in the beyond. My place in the world order is solidified and any sense of ego checked.
The world is small.
Whether in the mountains of WV, or the rice paddies of Ubud, I am sure to find likeness in the way that life relies upon life. Every organism needs the next. From insects and moss to each one of us.
This is interconnection. In bigness and smallness, nature and people are bound.
***
Recently, I had the pleasure of attending my very first trip with AMC.
After spending a casual (but very serious by Covid standards, having moved indoors) afternoon date with a man I barely knew crying to me that he wasn’t over his ex, I realized something: I needed to stop dating men who are “outdoorsy” and better develop the skill set myself. I also needed to dig into what I had been avoiding by expecting this from a male counterpart.
I know, I know. I bit deep for an AMC newsletter.
The point is, I googled, ended up on my first trip and lived to tell about it.
Because I own my own business and overcommit myself in all ways, I almost cancelled the trip altogether the week of. The thought of organizing various ziploc bag sizes almost pushed me over the edge.
[As a side note, who the HELL knew there are that many different container types and sizes, but that is another article altogether].
Thankfully, my community showed up for me. One friend practiced pitching his tent with me in my front yard and offered extra dehydrated meals he’d been hoarding since Y2K. Another talked me through why I needed the trip. Jill, my leader, and one surely many of you know, reached out to offer support and an abbreviated list to make things easier.
How could I not go?
When I arrived, wet and late since my car A/C was broken and the car place could not fix it in time, this incredible group of women enveloped me. Heating water as I needed it (my device sucked), offering yoga and quiet conversation, stillness at times and a push up the ‘mountain’ at others.
I had used all of my free time weeks prior on work and likely extra sleep so I was very confused that we were car camping for some (most?) of the trip and
Usually after a few days in the woods or even sometimes just even a few hours of yoga or paddling I am right as rain, but this went much deeper. You see, I coach, train and consult leaders and organizations who are working through trauma, repairing conflict and rebuilding trust. Ironically, at the core of this I work to encourage and model self care and self “as instrument.” Somehow, somewhere along the way in the past many months, I myself got out of tune.
AMC allowed me to notice this and if not correct, work towards charting a new path, as good explorers do. I am ever grateful to the natural world for its infinite wisdom, but more still to the human one for its ability to hug back or walk away when I need comfort or space. When I was in school one of the first theorists we studied was named Ludwig Von Bertalanffy. He said, “We are seeking another basic outlook: the world as an organization. This would profoundly change categories of our thinking and influence our practical attitudes. We must envision the biosphere as a whole with mutually reinforcing or mutually destructive inter-dependencies. ("Robots, Men and Minds". Book by Ludwig von Bertalanffy, p. 57, 1967.)
The world is big and the world is small.
In big and small ways, you are all part of mine now.
This is interconnection.
Happy trails. Hope to see you there soon!
